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May 28, 2004

Smuckers' new ad campaign: "Kick Out the Jam, Motherfuckers!"

"I'm a taste test/At the best fest/Got your crest/On my breast/Take one look/At your cook/Feed yourself/I'm on a hook..."

What?

The above lyric is from "Beast of Honor", just one of the impossibly midrange tracks on Melissa Auf Der Maur's recent solo release. Auf Der Maur would've been boring had it appeared in 1994 as an Alternative Nation cash-in release from Giant, Imago, or even American. But issued a full decade later, its only function is to highlight desperately the vague sultry decadence that's been Melissa's only durable asset since the days of 'Celebrity Skin'.

Next from Capitol Records: Those Hammerbox reissues we've all been waiting for.

.....

As for reviews, I wrote about the totally fucking awesome Detroit outfit Terror at the Opera for Pitchfork. Accordion and flaky guitar back kooky self-penned fairy tales that sound like conversations with Wayne Coyne's inner child. Buy it now and scare your family. Minus Story also got some coverage at the Fork. I tried to discern the motives behind the Kansas combo's "hoary walls of psychedelic noise." With Modest Mouse's most recent missive inexplicably tearing up MTV and the like, it won't be long before wack pack types like the Minus Story are blasting coke whores with Tom Sizemore.

Over at All Music it was the beguiling Miss Kittin and the hard plastic future world of her new record I Com. "If the electroclash movement did anything besides get a bunch of gawky people laid...it winnowed [Kittin]'s dueling personas - brilliant techno-inflected DJ and haughtily self-aware vocalist - into a fantastically complete, badass package." Check it: Berlin is the new Chicken Capitol, USA! In other news, Everlast was back with another collection of blues-hop downers, The Dragons continued fighting the good gutter punk fight, this guy tried to steal some granola groupie love from John Mayer and Jason Mraz, and Slipknot returned to scare the pants of parents for the first time all over again. "The flinty, angry, and - yes - progressive Subliminal Verses is perfect for heavy music in 2004," said me. "[We've] been waiting for a real rain to come and wash the scum off the streets."

Speaking of The Streets, it's kind of nuts how much cheeze my man Mike Skinner's been pulling in the press. Yes, A Grand Don't Come For Free is deserved, even if uttering its title always puts a Scary Spice pop-up before my eyes saying "Easy V? She don't come for free." But damn if the kid's getting pub all the way from NPR to Urb and back again. Way to go, guv'ner.

As for me? Ha ha, you'll see.

JTL

Posted by Johnny Loftus at May 28, 2004 11:14 AM

Comments (3)

Johnny's biggest fan!:

whens your next glono article coming out? you havent written anything there since the oc finale! me and all my sorority sisters love your glono stuff the best!!!!! your hot!!!!!!

Amy:

Well my my my Mr. Loftus, it seems to be getting easier & easier to cyber-stalk you these days. If only this talent of yours could get us out of line and inside 5am bars a little bit quicker...

James Johnston:

My Grandmother Jean Blasberg will turn one hundred Dec.21,2004. I was wondering where we write to get her name and pic. on The Today Progran?
If you send her a card; send it to.

Mrs Jean Blasberg
1780 N. Jsfferson
Monticello, Fl. 32345

Thank-you for any help you can give.