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September 21, 2005

Eneschtourage.

Neil Hamburger tells the jokes that make the whole crowd leave.

"Maybe in the future, Neil Hamburger will have a sitcom too. A disproportionately foxy actress will play his wife, and sheíll nag Hamburger pleasantly while the laugh track responds uproariously to his glum exasperation. Random children will appear and disappear, and neighbors will never knock when they come through the kitchen door. Itís the future, and itís sidesplitting. Everybody Loves Hamburger!"

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Naked might be deadly.

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Spit it out, it's too sweet.

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"Arizona Amp & Alternator is just the latest crumpled brilliant letter from Americana's unofficial poet laureate."

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"Even their name sounded like market research, a monosyllabic summation of adolescent discontent, extreme sports, and jabs to the solar plexus."

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GET SOME! BRING IT ON!

"She's a precocious baby doll, a vengeful lover, a bawdy bandleader. But most of all she's a fantastic bassist, the thumping strings of her upright leading her band along like bold page numbers in the corner of a nickel pulp novel."

"'Pussy Time' is the kind of doulble-entendre theme to make you hope Nashville Pussy replace Jeff Healy as the Doulbe Deuce's house band in a future remake of Road House."

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Nintendocore!

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Still Going: The American Analog Set.

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The valley of reverb is next to the valley of death, and right now, somewhere, Disturbed is leading an army of Suicide Girls and disenfranchised truckers to liberate confiscated gaming consoles from governors and dipsticks everywhere. Watch the fuck out, squares, 'cause that guy's wearing a scary mask.

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JTL

Posted by Johnny Loftus at September 21, 2005 4:30 PM