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November 08, 2006

Rumsfeld to star in Surreal Life '07 with Todd Bridges, Hans Blix

From my Google Chat program. See below. My Pal Rob T. and I, inspired by Rumsfeld's retirement. Dude can't leave our pop culture radar; please, not yet. (He can leave the gov't, though; we have no problem with that.) As Rob says below, Rummy is one of the modern era's finest existential poets.

WWRD? Well, Rob and I offer a few suggestions, from starring in the "Surreal Life" to overtaking some of our most obvs blogs. A few detours into cable news election coverage, too.

Read on...

rob: this day could possibly not get any better

1:49 PM me: I vote Rummy for "Surreal Life 2007"

rob: nope. he's going to go play golf with satan.

1:50 PM me: I say he starts a podcast where he delivers all his thoughts on celebrity in 2006.

rob: hahahahhaaha

me: Defamer? no - Rummyfied.

rob: DataRum

me: Motor City Rum

rob: Rumevs

me: Stereofeld

rob: Music For Rumsfelds

1:51 PM me: Pitchfeld

Rumsfork

me: Skeet on Rumsfeld

rob: fuck
Fluxfeld

me: Perfect Feld for Rumsever

1:52 PM rob: Rummyism

me: Rumsfeldian Apparel

rob: McRummy's

me: Best Rumsfeld Ever

rob: Donaldcrombie and Rummy

me: Rummy is the new blog

1:53 PM Last Night's Rumsfeld

rob: Donald Rumfseld is Overrated
Donaldist

me: The Cobrafeld

rob: DeadDon

1:54 PM Melody Rumsfeld.com

me: Miss Modernrums

rob: Seven Inches of Rumsfeld

me: Luke Walton's Rumsfeld

rob: Donald Are Pretty

1:55 PM me: Gurgling Rummy

rob: Donaldesko
Largehearted Don

me: Access Rumsfeld

rob: what say Fox and Friends retool and have Pat O Brien, Ted Haggar d and Rummy as hosts? that'd be a hell of a morning show.

1:56 PM me: Dude, Rummy as a host would fucking rule. It'd be like McLaughlin Group in the heyday. ISSUE TWO!

Did you see Kondrake and Barnes hemming and hawing all over Fox News last night?

rob: oh yeah. I enjoyed the Brit Hume waffling and gurgling more than some of the results
those baritone "errr,,uhhh"

me: Hume. Such a horse face.

1:57 PM rob: he looks like one of those cartoon dogs that always had the barrel around their necks

me: And they had that crazy map that looked like Cosmic Ark

rob: like his skin is about to slide off the bone any minute

me: With the boxes moving around all over it.

rob: did you watch any of olbermann having fun?

1:58 PM me: Yeah he was pretty great, but I find him insufferable after awhile. And I always resort to SportsCenter jokes.
I'd like to see a knife fight between Olbs, Patrick, and Craig Kilborn.

rob: that'd be great to hear after Rummy's resignation speech. That famliar "DAH-nah-NAH...DAH-nah-NAH"

rob: i went to cracker barrell for lunch

me: Was Chris Rock's mom there?

rob: i went to cracker barrel and apparently there's a new format of music called "positive alternative"
you heard of it?
me: Yeah, it's like Hot AC for Christians.
Jars of Clay

rob: at first i was like "cool. new andrew wk record. but it's weird nickelback sounding shit for christians"

me: New Newsboys tries to cash on it, too.
Jeremy Camp's another big one.

rob: so it's just clear channel selling CCM a new way?

me: Yep.

rob: maybe that's what rummy can do next. crank out some CCM jams with TobyMac for the troops
sort of like a breakdown in songs ala vincent price in "thriller"

me: Rowdy Roddy Rummy

2:04 PM rob: Donald The Giant

me: Hacksaw Don Rumsfeld.

rob: Junkyard Don

me: The Feldsdertaker

rob: Koko B. Rumsfeld

2:05 PM me: Supereld Snuka

rob: Donald "The Brain" Heenan

me: Karl Rove and Rums as the British Bulldogs.
Bush is Stephanie.

rob: You think Rove's gonna resign next?

2:06 PM me: No fucking way.

rob: he COULD yknow. he's gotta retool the party for 08
who else can do that? ed gillespie? ken mehlman? dick "seven nation" armey?

2:07 PM me: Armey was making the rounds of cable news last night and sounded like a confused old man sending soup back in a deli. "Answer that phone!" two Seinfeld refs in one chat post.

rob: Ron Popeil? Rumsfeld signs on as new spokesperson for RonCO

me: Rumsfeld slipped in Snapple once. He broke his hip.

rob: "there are products we know and products we don't know"

me: I predict a "Chuck Norris" string of Rumsfeld jokes.

2:09 PM rob: oh of course. there has to be some sort of fitting tribute to this century's greatest existential poet

me: Word to that. Cantankerous motherfuckers unite. TEAM RUMMY. (As long as he's nowhere near the guv.)

JTL

Posted by Johnny Loftus at November 8, 2006 02:21 PM

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